2006 : Looking Back

Three hundred and sixty five days - gone. Many of us may be disappointed at not having accomplished this or not having completed that, but very few would actually be satisfied with what they have achieved over the past year. Try it yourself. But actually, it just depends on your outlook. If you strive hard to recall what you have achieved (pessimistically), you may find none, but if you simply wade through the past year, you will realise that it was not so bad after all, in fact, it was just as bad as any other year. (I am being as positive as possible). You can still continue to pursue your goals in the next year... its not like a whole chunk of your available time has gone forever. (Okay, it has, but we're trying to be positive here).

Anyway, this year brought with it many oppurtunities of enjoying time, and the usual joy and sorrow, but above all, this year was the most different of all. Look at it this way... today and tomorrow are both like any other day, and don't put a label of 'Last Day of the Year' or anything. The resolutions may be made or broken, it doesn't matter. Just move ahead, and enjoy life as usual... while you still can.

(To understand better what I wanted to say, read 'Looking Ahead' by Golden Glaciers here)

Fraternity

As we grow, we learn to adapt to our surroundings, we learn to behave in ways that others feel appropriate. In fact, a person is completely defined by his environment. The circumstances he/she lives in has complete control over the shape of the future. If I grow up with friends who like a particular genre of music, I will develop a liking for the same kind of music. If I spend time with a person who dislikes music (its hard to see why, but anyway) I will begin to show dislike for the same. You have virtually no control over your life, unless you decide to stay away from your friends, and become more of an introvert.

But no matter what path you take, what attitude you have, how fun-loving you are, and how strong you are in mind and body, it all boils down to this- you are a human being. Great realization dawneth upon us... you may think, but actually, it is hard to see that everyone around you is a human being, just like you. Every person around you has the same feelings of joy, sorrow, embarrassment, the same hunger for care, for a comforting arm, for support, the same crave for music, for entertainment. The person next to you is, in fact, exactly the same as you.

And the moment you realise this, your relationship with that person takes a whole new level.

Unconventional

Most of us try and bring into our lives new ideas and habits through the process of imitation. If something is noteworthy, we get inspired to emulate. The problem with such an approach is that it kills creativity dead. It is also very difficult to introduce originality, because we are so used to seeing the same routine that something new is hard to accept, and may even seem ridiculous at first. Its something like inertia. We tend to refuse to believe the benefits of staying out from the crowd. If you like something, do something similar, but don't blindly copy it. The idea is to take something that you like, and slowly modified to create something that is completely different from what you started with. For example, Dilbert is actually a copy of Peanuts. So go ahead, be different, and carve a niche for yourself.

You will be more happy with what you end up with than anyone else.

Loneliness

I walked past the cars,
With hands in my pocket,
For it was cold that night,
Contemplating on memories I would rather forget,
But without which my life would be incomplete.

And then our eyes met.
She blushed,
I smiled,
But no words were spoken,
It was like instant bliss,
I thought I could stand there forever.

But she turned around,
And resumed talking and giggling with her friends,
She went her way,
And I went mine.

Niether a word was said, nor heard,
But we understood thousands,
Silence spoke for itself,
Life moved on as usual.

Graduation

I never saw this day coming.

Not when I joined school.. not today... not until now. I did not realise that I was going to have to leave school... forever. I did not realise that I would be leaving my friends, who I am so close to. Perhaps I have clung on to this place too tightly... nonetheless I have a deep sentimental attachment to it. Who wouldn't ? The school that I have been in for 12 years. I do owe a lot to this school. It has given me what any student could wish for from a school. The place where I grew, learned, played, fell, rejoiced, contemplated, and maybe even cried. This has been too short a school life. The last two years, especially, have whizzed by. I do not know what will happen next... I have never been adept at preparing for the future. Whatever happens, I do hope that I do not lose touch with my friends. Those that have built me, without even realising it. I will surely miss them.

I hope there is no tomorrow.

to be continued

The Last Lap : Episode Three (New)

FEBRUARY 6, 2006 | TNR GARAGE | MOSCOW
I felt much refreshed this morning. Our team contacted TNR manager Robert. He gave us permission to see the garage. The team had asked S.W.A.T. chief Argon for backup. We looked for Rocky, but apparently somebody tipped him off. He ran away, the coward. But that was not exactly a problem. All race drivers had to have a skin cell transmuted to a GPS chip. I called my old friend, Blake, head at Covert Ops, Interpol. He was more than happy to help track him down. We corresponded with him via radio, and he traced him to a London suburb. We moved into our chopper, and cruised to London in minutes.

FEBRUARY 5, 2006 | RT LANE | LONDON
We found Rocky hiding in his apartment. I wanted to pull out my TX-800 sniper and finish him off... but I was hired to arrest him - not assassinate him. We barged in from the front door. He quickly scuffled for a hand grenade, launched it at us, and jumped off the 3rd floor ledge. By the time the smoke cleared, we saw him speeding away in his car - an RL Xtreme - 2835 cc , 499 kgm , 189 bhp @ 7000 rpm. A car to kill for. The others got into their cars and were on his tail. I followed him on my Ducati PZ-999. He saw me gaining in and shot at my bike with an assault rifle. But I had a bullet-proof bike. I only had my handgun. I shot at his fuel tank. His fuel was dripping, but he kept driving. He moved off the freeway to Parker Street. I shot at his tyre. His car stalled. We stopped by his car to arrest him. He came out with his hands up. And then he suddenly took Jessica hostage. I was furious, but helpless. Josh tried to negotiate, but to no avail. He wanted a helicopter and demanded to be free from police arrest. We contacted chief. A chopper came hovering above us, and he moved towards the door. He opened the door to-

*THUD*

I rammed an exhaust pipe into the back of his head. I had taken advantage of the darkness. I hated all this slow nonsense. I meant business, and I meant fast.
Rocky was knocked out.
Jessica was safe and in my arms again.
And the world was a happier place.

end

The Last Lap : Episode Three (Original)

FEBRUARY 6, 2006 | TNR GARAGE | MOSCOW
I felt much refreshed this morning. Our team contacted TNR manager Robert. He gave us permission to see the garage. The team had asked S.W.A.T. chief Argon for backup. We looked for Rocky, but apparently somebody tipped him off. He ran away, the coward. But that was not exactly a problem. All race drivers had to have a skin cell transmuted to a GPS chip. I called my old friend, Blake, head at Covert Ops, Interpol. He was more than happy to help track him down. We corresponded with him via radio, and he traced him to a London suburb. We moved into our chopper, and cruised to London in minutes.

FEBRUARY 5, 2006 | RT LANE | LONDON
We located Rocky's car. An RL Xtreme - 2835 cc , 499 kgm , 189 bhp @ 7000 rpm. It meant that the chase would be fun. We had three cars in all, and were hot at his trail. The fool had nowhere to go. He turned left , then right, then left again, but so did we. This was obviously not going to be able to save him. He moved off the freeway to Parker Street. I had a hunch that he would take a diversion towards the harbour. I asked the other two cars to cover the exits, and I followed him, at 280 km/h. Sweet. And then, he moved towards the dock. It was a routine job now- Code eight-six. The three of us blocked all his paths, and flashed high beam in synchronization. He was blinded and surprised simultaneously, rammed into a pavement, and his car stalled. It was off to the clink for him.

As for me... it was like any other week at the office.

end

The Last Lap : Episode Two +

FEBRUARY 5, 2006 | GAMMA HQ | CANADA
At the Gamma Head-Quarters, Josh miraculously located the mangled remains of Smith's car on his laptop. He ordered it online, and in we got to work. Josh worked on the car for about forty minutes, but in vain. Outside, Jessica and I were discussing key points of the case. She suddenly paused for a while. I felt her hands hold mine. She looked into my eyes and drew nearer to k-

"Holy Saints! Karbon, come in! ", Josh exclaimed.
"What is it? Did you find something big? "
"No."
"Then why the hell did you call me ?? "
"I found something small.... real small. ", he said, and pointed at the drivers headrest.

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was a rail gun, about the size of an ant. I took it to my lab hastily for further investigation. It was a dual-sided electromagnetic rail gun, known in the industry as DER gun. It could fire two shots at once, at the speed of a hundred kilometers a second, using particle accelerator technology. But it was a nano DER gun. I checked the car for more insight. In minutes, I realised that this device was the brain-chlid of a genius, an evil genius, of course, but a genius nonetheless. On particle was fired at Smith's neck, and the other, at the brake fluid system. So that Smith was disabled, and his car veered off course, and it had to seem like an accident. But it was murder, and I wanted to locate him. I went to Jessica's house, where she analysed the gun. Using DNA analysis, in minutes, she identified the killer as Rocky, Smith's team-mate. He was jealous of Smith's success and wanted revenge. I wanted to report to Alfred, but-

"Not now", she said, "we have unfinished business". And she bolted the bedroom door from within.

to be continued

The Last Lap : Episode One

JANUARY 7, 2006 | NASCAR CIRCUIT | USA
Pro Race driver Smith leads the final lap and his team-mate Rocky follows at a close second. Team TNR look set for a one-two finish. Then, Smith suddenly loses control and rams into a tyre wall at top speed. He sustains severe neck and spine injuries and is rushed to Thomas Hospital where he is declared dead. Doctors conduct a post-mortem and no foul play is suspected. It goes down as a fatal car accident. The nation mourns and his name invokes respect for the sport world-wide.

FEBRUARY 4, 2006 | MK LABS | USA
Dr. Milton does a second post-mortem and locates large concentrations of Electro-Magnetic radiation near the back of his neck. He moves forward for a closer look, and is amazed to see a fine pore. He is amazed at his discovery, and then stumbles on another amazing discovery- this pore cuts right accross his neck, and another pore is visible on the opposite side of his neck. He calls Head Invstigator Albert, who immediately assigns Team Gamma on the mission. The team, consisting of Jessica, top Macro Biologist, Josh, retired Race Engineer, and Agent Karbon - Nano-Particulate expert (me). The team starts work immediately.

to be continued

Envy

"The grass is greener on the other side"

... or so it seems. We often like to get what we do not have. We always feel the 'his' is better than 'mine'. We tend to under-estimate the capabilities of what we have, and sometimes.... what we are. Everyone does. It takes a lot of self-confidence to feel good about yourself. To appreciate yourself and your capabilities. I have always under-estimated myself (and still do) but I am constantly striving to avoid it (I think) . It helps to see a worse-(not worst)-case scenario. We must learn to appreciate the minor things in life... those that lay forgotten under the heaps of materialistics wants. There is a lot more in life than is apparent. And self-appreciation is crucial in life.

There is is just no point in life otherwise.

Success

Yesterday I read something that made me think differently :

" A man who fails well is better than a man who succeeds badly "

...often we stop realising what our ultimate aim is. What our goals in life are. Everyone strives for success. Everyone wants to top in his exams..why? Everyone wants a promotion.. why? Everyone wants more money, and I ask you the same question again.. WHY ? Does that give you something ? If it does, good for you. But most of us will not have an answer to any of the above questions (even I don't) . So think for a while what you current short-term goal is... and then ask yourself "Why am I pursuing it ?" If you can answer yourself in a few seconds... do accomplish your goal. If you can't, stop for a while, and find out what the answer is. If you still can't, then you should reconsider the task at hand. If you can, only then you will truly strive to achieve it.

Time

I find it hard to keep track of time. One moment you feel like you have all the time in your life, and the next involves constant switching between nervousness, anxiety and tension. Case in point being the last two years of my life. When I got my ICSE results (class 10), eternity stood before me. There was a 3 month vacation to choose your college, and a 24 month wait before I wrote my 12th boards. Everyday at school, I counted the seconds to the end of the minute, the minutes to the end of the hour, the hours to the end of the day, and the days to the end of the month. But the moment a few months passed, I thought, "Where has the time gone ?", and lunged into despair mode, and a conversation in my mind followed, after which I decided to manage time better, and re-focus, only to revert in less than a week.

When class 12 arrived, I knew I had to be serious... but I carried on as usual, until I got my monthly test report ( I had joined an IIT coaching institute called BASE). I knew I could do better, but it was the same me everyday. Now I face my class 12 pre-pre-boards, and there are 3 months left for the JEE exam (known to be the toughest in the world, I don't know how I convinced myself to give it a shot). 21 months have passed. My accomplishments : none... zero...nil...zilch...this makes me feel terrible. Only time will tell if I do improve. Hopefully, I will. But one can't ever be too sure, at least not when you haven't made even the least significant of attempts to guarantee a better tomorrow.

I have nowhere to look up to, except my inner temple.

Evolve +

When you enter this world, you know absolutely nothing that you should not, and nothing less than what you need to know. Your parents are your primary beacons of light (this term just does not do justice to them), your strongest foundation in this world. You choose to follow what they say till you can go to school. That's where you meet your secondary beacons, teachers. Teachers have a lot of impact on our lives, though we may not realise presently. You can proceed with what they say, or what your friends do. Both paths could either eventually converge, or not. But it is those that carve their own paths that we should aim to become. If you don't, all is not lost. True, you do come across ups and downs, but those are temporary, the bigger picture is that you are learning as you grow. Often we regret being alive, but we should realise that only through such sates of depression and agony do we appreciate our otherwise ordinary past. Or at least incubate new ideas for the future. We need to look for support from friends and family. Sometimes we need to sink in deep thought and reflect upon loneliness as well... it is part of life.( I could explain in terms of maxima and minima... frankly, I'd rather not !)

But there is a time in everyone's life that you realise that you have matured enough to take your own decisions ( either that, or you know that there is no other option, this path is actually better). I call that stage as evolving ...... from an ignorant fool to the most intelligent person you can think of. It is when this happens that you actually agree that you can't ask for anything more in life....